The moment I almost doubted my boyfriend’s fidelity (a tiny bit)

29 Sep

A bit more than a week ago I was hurrying to do laundry on Saturday morning. I had planned to leave for a short road trip, and Richard was at a photography convention. I sorted through the laundry from his suitcase – remember, he stays at the hotel four days per week – when I stumbled upon this beauty:


I was confused. That was none of mine. And it was also too small to belong to any of my friends who sleep over occasionally. And although I am by no means an expert, it did not exactly look like men’s underwear. So where did that thing come from?

What did I do? You got it. I snapped the picture above and sent it to Richard. “Look what I found in your suitcase! Are you secretly a cross-dresser?”

He replied, “WTF?”

“I don’t know what to make of that. how would you react if you found another guy’s boxers in our flat when you returned?”

“I guess… I don’t know?”

I had to leave then, and our conversation ended. Of course I could not get that stupid boring slip out of my mind while I was away. At the same time I was 99.99785% sure that Richard is an ever-loyal and faithful guy who would not betray me. Especially since, when we moved in together four or something years ago, I threatened that, should he ever betray me, I would simply walk out on him with the cats and his xbox.

(I know where it hurts the most.)

Come Sunday, I was back home, and Richard had completely forgotten the incident. I showed him the item in question. We went over the possibilities – mine? No way. A friend’s? Too small. Split personality disorder? Probably not. (His reply, “I bet that would be uncomfortable.”)

After much fretting we finally found the solution – he probably brought it home from the hotel room, where it must have hidden in the bottom compartment of the wardrobe, where he keeps his used (mostly black) laundry.

“And you want me to believe that?”

- “Look at it, honey – do you really think I would cheat on you with a girl who wears boring slips like that?”

You must admit, he had a point. Plus, his complete surprise kind of convinced me he was not making anything up (he is a really bad liar.) Because I am an evertrusting, faithful, honest and naive soul, I chose to believe him, and in the end we had a good laugh. I suggested he should try to get some sort of recompensation from the hotel, under the pretext that this slip had almost destroyed his relationship, but he is too honest for that as well. “What if we get the maid in trouble?”


What’s the moral of the story? Things are not always as they seem, and sometimes you have to decide to trust. And: Occasionally renew your threats. ^^ (Or: Switch on the light when you start packing your suitcase at the hotel.)

New page – witchy remedies

24 Sep

At the top of the page you can see a new category, “witchy remedies”. It’s a collection of natural remedies I have tried and found to work for me. Although this is no substitute for a visit to your doctor, feel free to try and comment. Always apply with common sense!

Falling for fall – Happy equinox and such!

23 Sep

Fall is finally here, and I still haven’t gotten the decoration out of the basement… but nature is not fazed and keeps decking herself in festive colors.

This time around I am not going to whine how I never have time to properly celebrate the sabbath, for last weekend was spent doing all kinds of fall-related things with my best friend. Among other things, we went to a wine festival, rode our bikes through misty nights (completely sober and singing church songs *ahem*), went walking through fenland and woods and sat in the sun sipping coffee. So, even if today is probably one of those days where I’ll end up lying in bed and trying to remember where the day went, I’ll sleep happily, knowing that we did our best to welcome the new season even if no magic circle was involved.

How do you celebrate on the fly?

Small steps, small rewards

22 Sep

Wait, what was that? A city girl does not need rubber boots?

You are not making any sense. ^^

If you have known me for any length of time, you know that I am one curvy girl. Over the course of the last five years, I first lost about 30 pounds and then, who’d have thought, gained 40. Actually, I think that was a good thing. I had gone from about 184 pounds to 151, got stuck and started obsessing. When I caught myself reading “pro-ANA” blogs and forums as inspiration, I decided I had to stop. I locked away the scale, ate whatever I wanted and only exercised when I felt like doing so. Then I hurt my knee, badly, keeping me from running (the only exercise I really like), and after a year – voilà, curvy witch once more. With a little extra on the side, to be sure.

Recently, when I was at almost 200 pounds, I decided I might well try again to get to a healthier weight. Now, for the statistics, my ideal weight (based on BMI) is somewhere between 130 and 160 pounds, so everything below 160 is probably fine for me – based on how I feel and look and what is easy for me to maintain. The numbers are a guideline, since health is not really measured in pounds. More important is my general well-being (skin, hair, migraines, blood pressure, joint pain, quality of sleep etc.).

So, what does that have to do with the pretty boots? I’ll tell you. For every 2kg (4.4lbs) lost (that is about 10% of what I have to lose to reach my upper healthy weight), I will get myself something nice, and the sunflower boots are the first reward. ^^

How did those wise Romans say? “Mens sana in corpore sano”. From experience I know that everything, including witching, is easier when you are healthy and fit! So remind me to update you every now and again…

Look! It’s a marvellous portable altar!

19 Sep




After some (soul) searching and saving, I finally got myself a tiny portable altar from the German shop “Schamanisches Kunsthandwerk” (let’s say, “Shaman Crafts”). By no means am I a shaman, but I like their work – mostly all-natural, handmade stuff. They have amulets made from wood engraved with totem animals or trees, prayer beads, magical mirrors and such. And, yes, they do offer altars. And while I am in love with their tabletop altar, I went for this ingenious portable (almost) all-natural travel altar kit instead. Above you see the pictures. Isn’t it pretty? There were several options to choose from, and I went for the crystal variety without special engraving. It is based on the 5-element-theory and mostly suitable to my needs, including five different crystals, a tiny candle in a glass container with a matching wooden coaster, miniature tools made from wood, triple moon and horned god symbol, a necklace with a pentagram burned into wood and a tiny pendulum, also from all natural material. And yes, it all fits in a leather pouch that, when flattened, turns into a tiny altar surface of about ten inches. The package comes with short instructions on the items included. Nifty, right?

(Sorry for going heavy on the links, I wanted to provide some help in case you want to look around the story a bit.)

For everyday purposes, I plan to use a slimmed-down variety with only the tools and the candle on the coaster with the leather pouch/altar cloth, but I am sure I can make good use of the other items as well. Now, I know that many of you are incredibly crafty and make their own amazing altars for travelling and such, but for the less handy ones such as me, this is a great solution!

What are your solutions for witching “on the go”?

How zen should we be?

18 Sep

Tiny confession: I have a terrible temper. Ask my colleagues, or friends, or family – I can explode pretty well when I want to, and I have a tendency to be mean on the spot. Some days I fear that, had I been one of the popular kids at school, I might have been a real bully.

Anyway, since I know this, I constantly strive to improve this area. I do breathing exercises at the desk, count to three before countering an argument and try to be as kind, in general, as possible. And that is tough for someone who used to have among her mottos the phrase, “I’d rather lose a good friend than a bad joke.”

(Blame my family for this. Meeting them for the first time tends to scare people away.)

And every now and again I get confused. How much of my temper is character, and how much is bad habit? I do not intend to step out of my skin, for I believe that everyone is perfect the way they come, we only get warped and twisted by society (and yes, that includes our families).

Right now I am working on expressing my feelings, the good and the bad ones. In the past I used to wall up and become all passive-aggressive – that trait can be used for hilarity in friendly banter, but is abso*fucking*lutely useless in reality. And to avoid my temper spilling over into my real emotions, I have a how-to guide: Everytime someone says something that makes me want to explode, I take a step back. Like, a mile. And then I try to find out whether I am really upset, or if it was just something insignificant that flipped my switch because I am weird like that. When during our last meeting my sister made a few remarks that made me want to rip out her throat – please tell me that’s normal among sisters! – I thought about it for more than two weeks before approaching her about it, to be sure I was not being mean just because I could. (Now it is her turn to express herself, and I hate waiting, but… we’re sisters. What’s the worst that can happen? We hate each other for a few months and then get back together, we’re family.)

On the other hand, I have learned that being too nice is often considered a weakness. Clashing with colleagues in the workplace has, after several years, earned me a tiny advantage, being a European woman among Muslim men – not that they respect me or anything, I am not delusional, but they suspect I may be batshit crazy. Fine by me.

End of ramblings: How zen (or kind) do you think we should be in everyday life? And when do we have to take up the battle? When is it okay to embody Pele, and when should we rather be Guanyin-like? Gosh, I wish I were a fungus. ^^

Fall cleaning, writers’ edition

2 Sep

CS Cover Front

Fall is arriving, and I am feeling more alive with every day. And since there is too much energy to use it up in 24 hours, I have started to clean and polish my urban fantasy novel “All Souls’ Children”. Take a look at the new cover – pretty, right? Hopefully it will be all shiny and new in time for a cozy Samhain read…


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